Posted by: itstails | December 17, 2008

Oh, The Places You’ll Go

streets ahead

A lot of my fears are irrational, I know that.  Like my crippling fear that Lawrence Taylor is hiding behind my curtains waiting to attack.  But one of my fears, fear of a nuclear war, is completely warranted.  We have the technology and certain people are just crazy enough to start one.  So, this causes me to stay awake a little bit longer some nights thinking about it.

But my fear pales in comparison to Britains fear of a nuclear winter, who built in the 1950’s “a nuclear fall out bunker, hidden in the most unlikely place, the Wiltshire countryside.   Normally associated with chocolate box houses and English rose gardens, rather than the last bastion of the British Government, the sleepy shire is the now not-so-secret location of a huge underground city complex.”  How did this remain secret?  How poor are the Wiltshire citizen’s hearing?  Excuse me, fair chap, do you happen to hear a loud noise?  Hmm, a little bit…someone probably dropped a chocolate box!  No, it kind of sounds like a large group of people building an entire underground city below us in case of nucl…no, you’re right, someone probably dropped a chocolate box!

How big was this place?  “the immense city was set to be the seat of the emergency Government during the war; should nukes be involved. Created to house the Prime Minister, the entire Cabinet Office, civil servants and support staff, the hidden city could accommodate up to 4,000 personnel, but, unfortunately, not their families.”  I’m sure this wouldn’t have caused some awkward exchanges had an attack occured.  Where are you off to Harold?  Uh, I’m just heading out for a bit.  But the nuclear war just started, don’t you want to spend your last minutes with your loving and caring family!?  Yeah, yeah, of course I do..I, uh, I’m just gonna get some fresh air first, bye!

Let’s learn more, “Burlington covers 240 acres and has a network of around 60 miles of roads…It even has its own railway station and pub.”  Because you know the first thing people are going to want to do after everyone they know has been killed in a nuclear war is get plastered!  It sucks our families all died in that nuclear war.  Yeah.  You know what we should do?  Go to a bar and get our drink on?!  You read my mind!  Maybe there’ll be some girls there this time!

If you liked this post, try out And, She Doesn’t Get Upset if you Cheat on Her.

This story is Good News for:

1. History Buffs – Guess what history buffs, you’ve got a whole new site to salivate over and learn everything about all to show off during an impassioned game of Trivial Pursuit.  Don’t worry, you’re not wasting your time!

2. Wiltshire Citizens – Congratulations, you’re not just known for chocolate boxes and Rose Gardens anymore!

Good News for anyone else?  Leave it in comments.


  1. […] Oh, The Places You’ll Go […]

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