Posted by: itstails | December 17, 2008

Oh, No He Di’in’t

I would definitely be angry if my girlfriend cheated on me.  I would be extremely upset.  Unless, however, it turned out she cheated on me with a male model or professional athlete.  Because then, hey, I’m getting the same caliber girl as male models and professional athletes?  That’s the best news I would hear all year!

Here’s an article about probabbly the worst man (note: not pictured above, that’s just a random guy from Google Images- sorry whoever you are!) and weirdest couple you’ll read about all day, let’s see if we can spot where this article turns weird.  Let’s start from the top, “Police are seeking an arrest warrant for a man” Ok, so far so good.  I’m sure police are seeking an arrest warrant for lots of guys, let’s keep going…”accused of hitting his wife”  Ok, nobody likes a wife beater, but still, nothing weird or new here, let’s keep going…”after she asked to smell his penis to determine whether he was cheating with another woman.”  Ok, found it!  I found where it got really weird!  Now, I’m no relationship expert, but the last thing I would do to figure out if my significant other is cheating is ask to smell their genitals.  Couldn’t she just check his text messages or email or call the show Cheaters like everyone else?

And, another sentence you didn’t think you’d read today, “As she went to sniff her husband’s penis, he reportedly punched her mouth.  The husband then fled the scene.”  No word on whether or not he yelled, “Smell This!” as he punched her.  But I have a hunch he’s guilty!

If you liked this distressing story, you may enjoy It Was Like That When I Got Here.

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/dec/17/port-st-lucie-police-seek-warrant-alleged-beater-g/ 

This is Good News for:

1. Somewhat Sane People – Whoohoo, we’re not either of these two whackos!

2. Suspicious Spouses – Hey, now you have a new method to determine whether or not your spouse is cheating!

Anyone else for whom it’s Good News?

 

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