Posted by: itstails | December 17, 2008

No, Officer, I Just Have a Cough…ahem, ahem

Let’s say you walk into a child’s room and saw the big bowl pictured above on their counter.  What would you think?  Maybe, boy this child sure must get a lot of sore throats.  Or, maybe, I wonder if one of their parents works for Halls?  Or, if you’re one teacher from Clay County you might think, We’ve hit the mother-load, Lock Them Up!

Yes, “A Clay County father said he wants answers after his 9 year old daughter (Khalin) and two other kids at her elementary school were accused of selling drugs and facing possible punishment all over some Vitamin C drops.”  These F$*#ing hippies are starting younger and younger these days.  I didn’t even know that Vitamin C drops were drugs!  And here I’ve been wasting my time trying to find pot all the time when I’ve had Vitamin C drops sitting in my drawer for months.

So, how did it go down?  “She saw me with the cough drops out and I guess she saw me give it to one of my friends, and then like, ‘Oh, I see this good business going on around you,'” Khalin said. “She said, ‘You’re selling drugs.’ (I said) ‘No I’m not.'”  So, this teacher sees a girl handing out cough drops and she doesn’t say like, “What’s going on here?” or anything remotely normal, instead she sees a student hand another student a cough drop and goes, “Oh, I see this good business going on around you,” like she just caught Al Capone selling moonshine during prohibition.  It sounds like the teacher was more jealous than anything, Hey Kid, don’t you know all cough drops around here go through me?!

The little girl was just giving out cough drops to classmates, but wait, when you read on you learn, “Khalin said two of her friends at school asked her for cough drops and she gave them out, but the friends, she said, insisted on giving her a dollar in exchange for the drops.”  Ohhh, the plot thickens.  Who are you working for Khalin?  Who’s your Vitamin C dealer?  Is it CVS?  I know it’s CVS, Khalin!  I’ve never trusted them!  And $1 a cough drop, I’m definitely going through my cabinet tonight.

If you liked this story, check out Let’s Start Encouraging Reading Again.

This story is Good News for:

1. CVS – Oh, your profits will triple from kids selling cough drops now, you scoundrels.

2. Me – I’ve got so many cough drops and a couple of connections to kids.  Maybe I’ll quit my job today.

Anyone else it’s good news for?  Leave it in comments below & I’ll poll it.

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