Posted by: itstails | December 17, 2008

Drunk Stroller Driver Makes a Wrong Left Turn

Rice family

Some things about drunk driving never made sense to me.  Mostly, the signs on roads that say ‘DUI Enforcement Area’ – because, really, shouldn’t everywhere be a DUI Enforcement Area?  And, if not, then why put up the signs?  Do they just want drunk drivers to take a different route home?  Bill, I need a ride home from the bar.  No can do, sorry.  Oh, because you’re drunk.  Haha, not because I’m completely plastered, but because your street is a DUI Enforcement area.  Hahaha.

But now, a new type of drunk driving has arisen, “two large glasses of wine later, it ended ignominiously for Allison Reay when she was arrested for being drunk in charge of a child. The 40-year-old stumbled on stairs as she was pushing her daughter’s friend Vienna Wood in a buggy (stroller).  The three-year-old girl hit the pavement headfirst, bruising her face.”  Now, it’s one thing to drunk drive – that’s just some harmless fun – but these cops and reporters should really be spending their time on parents who have 2 glasses of wine with dinner then stumble down a dark stairwell causing a friend’s child to scrape their face.  LOCK HER UP!

So, how did the other mother respond?  She’d obviously be upset so she probably expressed her dissapointment in a private setti…oh, “She shouted at me outside the school in front of other parents. It was so embarrassing.”  You stay classy! 

I mean, the daughter only just got bruised, she shouldn’t be so overdrama…oh, there’s more?  “She added that her daughter is now frightened of stairs.”  Nooooooo!  How is this poor girl ever going to get over her fear of stairs!  How will she ever climb to the top of a lighthouse or get to the fiction section of a Barnes and Noble?  Noooooo!

If you enjoyed this post, check out You Can’t Even Hide From Bullies Online Now.

This story is Good News for:

1. Drunk Parents – Hey, now nobody is ever going to ask you to watch their kids again.

2. Psychiatrists – Something tells me the little girl in the story is going to be spending a lot of money with you guys soon!

Come on in, sit indian style and leave a joke or two.  Or anyone else for whom this story is Good News?  Leave it in comments and I’ll add it to poll. 

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