I know when I think of knock ’em down, drag ’em out fights, the first place that comes to my mind isn’t a biker bar or a back alley or Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston’s house, but instead Chuck E. Cheese. Yup, that’s right, the new trendy place to pick a fight is that family friendly restaurant with a cuddly mouse for a mascot.
This article is centered around just one example, a Chuck E. Cheese in Brookfield, Wisconson, where officers have had to break up not just 1 or 2 fights in the past year, but 12. That’s a fight a month at Chuck E. Cheese. Think about that before you schedule your child’s next birthday party.
According to the article, “The biggest melee broke out in April, when an uninvited adult disrupted a child’s birthday party.” Yes, I know it hurts when you responsible adults are not invited to some little child’s birthday party. I know the pain of checking the mail every day hoping to see that invitation to a 7 year old’s party at Chuck E. Cheese and the devastation it can cause when it never comes. But to then crash the party and start the biggest melee of the year? That’s just weird.
And now, because of these disturbances, “Amid pressure from local politicians, some Chuck E. Cheese’s have stopped serving alcohol and added security guards who carry pistols.” Yes, because nothing says ‘child’s birthday party’ quite like security guards toting pistols around. I know when I was growing up, I never cared where I had my birthday parties as long as there were numerous armed guards there. Hey, you never know when some other kid is going to try to steal one of your presents and has to be taken out.
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This story is Good News for:
1. Chuck E. Cheese Security Guards, because before they were just laughed at as inconsequential security guards at CEC, but now they are inconsequential security guards at CEC who get to carry a gun.
2. Every Other Place that Host’s Birthday Parties, because odds are, even if parent’s misconstrue the cause & effect of this issue, they’re not going to have their kid’s parties at CEC anymore.
Think this story is Good News for anyone else? Add it in the Other column below and defend your choice in the comments.